ge and Charlotte Blonsky, who were a married couple living in the Bronx in New York City, invented something.
[馬克 · 阿伯罕斯]喬治和夏洛特 · 布朗斯基 是住在紐約布朗克斯的一對夫妻 他們有一項發明
got a patent in 1965 for what they call, "a device to assist women in giving birth."
他們在1965年獲得了一項專利 他們稱之爲“幫助婦女分娩的裝置”
device consists of a large, round table and some machinery.
這個裝置是由一個大圓桌 和一些機械組成
the woman is ready to deliver her child, she lies on her back, she is strapped down to the table, and the table is rotated at high speed.
當婦女準備生孩子時 她仰臥着 被綁在圓桌上 然後圓桌高速旋轉
child comes flying out through centrifugal force.
小孩通過離心力飛出來
you look at their patent carefully, especially if you have any engineering background or talent, you may decide that you see one or two points where the design is not perfectly adequate. (Laughter)
如果你仔細看看他們的專利 特別是如果你有任何工程背景或天分 你可能會看到 這個設計有一兩點不完美的地方
or Ivan Schwab in California is one of the people, one of the main people,who helped answer the question, "Why don't woodpeckers get headaches?"
加州的艾凡 · 施瓦布醫生 他是幫忙找出這個問題的答案的主要人之一 “爲什麼啄木鳥不會頭疼?”
it turns out the answer to that is because their brains are packaged inside their skulls in a way different from the way our brains, we being human beings, true, have our brains packaged.
結果答案是： 因爲他們頭蓋骨包裹大腦的方式 和我們人類的方式不同 當然，人類的大腦也被包裹在頭蓋骨裏面
, the woodpeckers, typically will peck, they will bang their head on a piece of wood thousands of times every day. Every day!
啄木鳥，特別典型的 會啄木，把頭撞向樹 每天都要上千回每天啊
as far as anyone knows, that doesn't bother them in the slightest.
據我們所知 這一點都不影響他們
does this happen?
爲什麼會這樣呢?
r brain does not slosh around like ours does.
他們的大腦不會像人類的那樣搖晃
r brain is packed in very tightly, at least for blows coming right from the front.
他們的大腦非常緊密地壓縮在一起 至少可應付從前方的撞擊
too many people paid attention to this research until the last few years when, in this country especially, people are becoming curious about
很少人關注這個研究 直到最近幾年 特別是這個國家， 人們開始好奇
happens to the brains of football players who bang their heads repeatedly.
對於頻繁用頭頂球的足球運動員 他們的大腦會怎樣呢
the woodpecker maybe relates to that.
啄木鳥的研究可能與此相關
e was a paper published in the medical journal The Lancet in England a few years ago called" A man who pricked his finger and smelled putrid for 5 years."
幾年前，在英國《柳葉刀》醫學雜誌上 有一篇《一個五年來自己刺傷手指並聞其腐臭味的男人》的文章
. Caroline Mills and her team received this patient and didn't really know what to do about it.
卡洛琳 · 米爾斯醫生和她的團隊 接受了這位病人卻不知如何處理
man had cut his finger, he worked processing chickens, and then he started to smell really, really bad.
這位男士割傷了他的手指 他的工作是處理雞肉 後來他就變得非常難聞
bad that when he got in a room with the doctors and the nurses, they couldn't stand being in the room with him.
以至於他在房間裏時 醫生和護士 都無法忍受呆在同一個房間
was intolerable.
非常難以忍受
tried every drug, every other treatment they could think of.
他們嘗試了所能想到的 每一種藥物和每一種治療方法
r a year, he still smelled putrid.
一年後他依舊散發腐爛的氣味
r two years, still smelled putrid.
兩年後還是腐爛的氣味
e years, four years, still smelled putrid.
三年，四年還是腐爛的氣味
r five years, it went away on its own.
五年後腐爛氣味自動消失了!
's a mystery.
這至今是個謎
New Zealand, Dr. Lianne Parkin and her team tested an old tradition in her city.
在新西蘭莉安 · 帕金博士和她的團隊 在她的城市試驗了一個古老的傳說
live in a city that has huge hills, San Francisco-grade hills.
他們住在一個滿是大山丘的城市 像舊金山那樣的山丘
in the winter there, it gets very cold and very icy.
在冬季那裏變得非常冷冷到結冰
e are lots of injuries.
常常發生事故
tradition that they tested, they tested by asking people who were on their way to work in the morning, to stop and try something out.
他們試驗的傳統就是 他們請早上去上班的人們 停下來做兩者之一的試驗
one of two conditions.
做兩者之一的試驗
tradition is that in the winter, in that city, you wear your socks on the outside of your boots.
這個傳統是在冬天 那個城市他們將襪子穿在靴子的外面
what they discovered by experiment, and it was quite graphic when they saw it, was that it's true.
從他們的試驗，他們看到很生動的 畫面裏，他們發現 是真的
if you wear your socks on the outside rather than the inside, you're much more likely to survive and not slip and fall.
如果你將襪子穿在靴子子外面而不是裏面 你比較不容易滑倒
, I hope you will agree with me that these things I've just described to you, each of them, deserves some kind of prize. (Laughter)
我希望你們也同意 我剛剛描述的這些 每一項都應該拿到某種獎品
that's what they got, each of them got an Ig Nobel prize.
他們確實有得到 剛介紹的每一項確實都拿到 搞笑 諾貝爾獎
1991, I, together with bunch of other people, started the Ig Nobel prize ceremony.
在1991年我和其他一些人創立了 搞笑諾貝爾獎
y year we give out 10 prizes.
每一年我們頒發十個搞笑諾貝爾獎
prizes are based on just one criteria. It's very simple.
這個獎只有一個得獎標準，
's that you've done something that makes people laugh and then think.
就是你做的能讓人笑 然後思考
you've done makes people laugh and then think.
只要你做的能讓人笑 然後思考
ever it is, there's something about it that when people encounter it at first, their only possible reaction is to laugh.
不管是什麼當人 第一次碰到它時 他們唯一的反應是笑
then a week later, it's still rattling around in their heads and all they want to do is tell their friends about it.
然後 一星期後 那件事仍盤踞在他們的腦中 他們唯一想做的就是要告訴他們的朋友
's the quality we look for.
那就是我們要找的。
y year, we get in the neighborhood of 9,000 new nominations for the Ig Nobel prize.
每一年我們收到大約九千個 新的搞笑諾貝爾獎項提名
those, consistently between 10 percent and 20 percent of those nominations are people who nominate themselves.
其中 一直都有百分之十到二十是 自己提名自己的
e self-nominees almost never win.
這些自我提名的幾乎從來沒得獎過
's very difficult, numerically, to win a prize if you want to.
從數據上說，，得獎的機會微乎其微
if you don't want to, it's very difficult numerically.
不管你是想贏 或不想贏都很難。
should know that when we choose somebody to win an Ig Nobel prize, We get in touch with that person, very quietly.
你知道嗎當我們 選中一個搞笑諾貝爾獎的得主 我們會先和私下他聯絡
offer them the chance to decline this great honor if they want to.
我們給他們一個 拒絕領這個很榮耀的獎項的機會
ily for us, almost everyone who's offered a prize decides to accept.
我們很高興 幾乎每位被選中的得主都決定 接受這個獎
do you get if you win an Ig Nobel prize?
若你是搞笑諾貝爾獎的得主你會得到什麼呢?
, you get several things.
你會得到幾個東西
get an Ig Nobel prize.
你會得到一個搞笑諾貝爾獎
design is different every year.
每一年的獎的設計都不一樣
e are always handmade from extremely cheap materials.
這些都是用非常便宜的材料以手工製作的
're looking at a picture of the prize we gave last year, 2013.
你現在看到的'是 我們去年頒發的2013年的
prizes in the world also give their winners some cash, some money.
大部分的獎 都會給得獎者一些獎金
don't have any money, so we can't give them.
我們沒有錢， 所以我們無法給他們獎金
fact, the winners have to pay their own way to come to the Ig Nobel ceremony, which most of them do.
事實上，我們的得主要自己付旅費 來參加搞笑諾貝爾獎的頒獎儀式 大部分的人會來
year, though, we did manage to scrape up some money.
去年，我們湊了一點錢
year, each of the 10 Ig Nobel prize winners received from us 10 trillion dollars.
十位搞笑諾貝爾獎的得主 每一位都得到十兆元的獎金
66.A $10 trillion bill from Zimbabwe. (Laughter) You may remember that Zimbabwe had a little adventure for a few years there of inflation.
一張十兆元的辛巴威紙鈔 你可能記得辛巴威在過去幾年發生一點事 就是通貨膨脹
ended up printing bills that were in denominations as large as 100 trillion dollars.
他們最後印的紙鈔 是以十兆爲單位
man responsible, who runs the national bank there, by the way, won an Ig Nobel prize in mathematics.
順便提一下，負責此事的國家銀行首長 贏得了搞笑諾貝爾獎的數學獎
other thing you win is an invitation to come to the ceremony, which happens at Harvard University.
另外，你會得到一張 搞笑諾貝爾獎頒獎儀式的邀請函 儀式是在哈佛大學舉行的
when you get there, you come to Harvard's biggest meeting place and classroom.
當你去的時候， 你會來到哈佛最大的會場兼教室
fits 1,100 people, it's jammed to the gills, and up on the stage, waiting to shake your hand, waiting to hand you your Ig Nobel prize,
在那裏一萬一千人 擠得水泄不通 在講臺上， 等着和你握手 和頒發獎給你的是
a bunch of Nobel prize winners.
一羣諾貝爾獎得主
's the heart of the ceremony.
那是整個頒獎儀式的最高點直到那一刻
winners are kept secret until that moment, even the Nobel laureates who will shake their hand don't know who they are until they're announced.
所有得主都被矇在鼓裏 即使在這些諾貝爾得主會握他們的手時 他們仍不知道這些人是誰
75.I am going to tell you about just a very few of the other medical-related prizes we've given.
我現在要和你們分享我們頒獎過的 幾個其他和醫療有關的獎項
in mind, we've given 230 prizes.
我們已頒過230個獎許多得主
e are lots of these people who walk among you.
可能在你們之中
e you have one.
或者你自己就是其中一位
79.A paper was published about 30 years ago called "Injuries due to Falling Coconuts."
30多年前 有一篇發表的論文題目是 “墜落的椰子導致的傷害”
was written by Dr. Peter Barss,who is Canadian.
這是加拿大的比得 · 巴爾斯醫生所寫的
. Barss came to the ceremony and explained that as a young doctor, he wanted to see the world.
巴爾斯醫生在頒獎儀式中解釋 所以他去了巴布亞紐幾內亞 當他是位年輕的醫生時 他要看看世界
he went to Papua New Guinea.
所以他去了巴布亞紐幾內亞
he got there, he went to work in a hospital, and he was curious what kinds of things happen to people that bring them to the hospital.
當他到那裏時 他去那裏的醫院工作 他很好奇 那裏的人因那些問題會來醫院
looked through the records, and he discovered that a surprisingly large number of people in that hospital were there because of injuries due to falling coconuts.
他翻閱了醫療記錄後發現 來那個醫院資料的原因中 相當多是因爲 墜落的椰子所造成的傷害
typical thing that happens is people will come from the highlands, where there are not many coconut trees, down to visit their relatives on the coast,where there are lots.
一個典型的事件經過是： 一些來自沒有許多椰子樹的高地的人 去到有許多椰子樹的海邊拜訪親戚
they'll think that a coconut tree is a fine place to stand and maybe lie down.
他們想椰子樹下似乎是 很適合站立或躺下的地方
87.A coconut tree that is 90 feet tall, and has coconuts that weigh two pounds that can drop off at any time.
椰子樹有90英尺高 每個椰子約二磅重 隨時可能掉下來
88.A team of doctors in Europe published a series of papers about colonoscopies.
有一組在歐洲的醫生髮表 一系列有關結腸鏡檢查的論文
're all familiar with colonoscopies,one way or another.
各位應該對結腸鏡檢查應該多少知道一些
in some cases,one way and another.
有些是知道不止一些
, in these papers, explained to their fellow doctors who perform colonoscopies, how to minimize the chance that when you perform a colonoscopy,your patient will explode. (Laughter)
在這些論文裏 他們解釋給他們的同事 如何降低他們的病人 在檢查時爆炸的機率
. Emmanuel Ben-Soussan one of the authors, flew in from Paris to the ceremony, where he explained the history of this, that in the 1950s,
曼紐 . 邊生醫生見到其中一位作者 從巴黎飛來參加頒獎儀式 在儀式裏 他解釋在1950年代 有關這方面的歷史
colonoscopies were becoming a common technique for the first time, people were figuring out how to do it well.
那時 結腸鏡檢查纔開始成爲一個普遍的技術 大家都在摸索如何做纔是最好
there were some difficulties at first.
開始時有些困難
basic problem, I'm sure you're familiar with, that you're looking inside a long, narrow, dark place.
你們對基本的問題可能有些熟悉 你要看一個很長 很窄且很黑的地方
so, you want to have a larger space.
你希望可以比較寬大的空間
add some gas to inflate it so you have room to look around.
所以你加入一些氣體來膨脹它 讓你有空間可以看清楚
, that's added to the gas, the methane gas,that's already inside.
那是加在已經在裏面的甲烷氣之上
gas that they used at first, in many cases, was oxygen.
起初他們大多數用的氣體是氧氣
they added oxygen to methane gas.
他們將氧氣加在已有的甲烷氣內
then they wanted to be able to see, they needed light, so they'd put in a light source, which in the 1950s was very hot.
然後爲了他們能夠看清楚 他們需要亮光 所以他們就加上光源 在1950年代 那時的光源很熱
you had methane gas, which is flammable,oxygen and heat.
總之 那時你有易燃的甲烷，氧氣，和熱
stopped using oxygen pretty quickly. (Laughter) Now it's rare that patients will explode, but it does still happen.
但他們很快就停用氧氣了(笑聲) 現在 很少有病人會爆炸 但是仍然時有發生
final thing that I want to tell you about is a prize we gave to Dr. Elena Bodnar.
最後 我要告訴你們的是我們 頒發給伊蓮娜 . 巴特那醫生的獎項
. Elena Bodnar invented a brassiere that in an emergency can be quickly separated into a pair of protective face masks.
伊蓮娜 . 巴特那醫生髮明瞭一個在緊急時 可以很快分開成 兩個口罩的胸罩
to save your life, one to save the life of some lucky bystander. (Laughter) Why would someone do this, you might wonder.
一個可以救你自己的命 另外一個可以救一個很幸運的旁觀者 你可能會想 爲什麼會有人要做這個?
. Bodnar came to the ceremony and she explained that she grew up in Ukraine.
巴特那醫生來到頒獎儀式 她解釋說： 她是在烏克蘭長大的
was one of the doctors who treated victims of the Chernobyl power plant meltdown.
她是最早治療切爾諾貝利核能廠核災的受害者的 醫生中的一名醫生
they later discovered that a lot of the worst medical problems came from the particles people breathed in.
他們後來發現許多最嚴重的醫療問題 主要是因爲他們吸入的物體
she was always thinking after that about could there be some simple mask that was available everywhere when the unexpected happens.
之後她就經常在想 若是意外突然發生 有什麼簡單又隨手可得的口罩
s later, she moved to America.
多年後 她搬到美國
had a baby, One day she looked, and on the floor, her infant son had picked up her bra, and had her bra on his face.
生了一個小孩 有一天 她看着她的小孩 在地上揀起她的胸罩 將她的胸罩放在臉上當口罩
that's where the idea came from.
那是她的靈感來源
came to the Ig Nobel ceremony with the first prototype of the bra and she demonstrated: (Laughter) (Applause) ["Paul Krugman, Nobel laureate (2008) in economics"]
當她來到頒獎儀式的時候 她帶了第一個原型樣本 來示範 [保羅 庫格曼 2008年諾貝爾經濟獎得主]
115.["Wolfgang Ketterle, Nobel laureate (2001) in physics"] I myself own an emergency bra. (Laughter) It's my favorite bra, but I would be happy to share it with any of you,should the need arise.
[沃爾夫岡 克特勒 2001年諾貝爾物理得主] 我自己也擁有一個緊急用胸罩 這是我最喜歡的胸罩 但有需要時 我會很樂意和你們任何一個人分享
k you.
謝謝
